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CHRISTMAS LIGHTS

November 21, 2012

We put up CHRISTMAS LIGHTS* last weekend.  This was something of a dream come true for me.  Dan has never shown an interest in Christmas lights, and, in years past, I have been the one to try to string up a few measly strands.  But this year, I outfoxed him, and asked for CHRISTMAS LIGHTS for Christmas. Ha!

*All caps because I love them.

I understand that Dan doesn’t have an intrinsic interest in Christmas lights.  I understand this because, before we married, we went through an intensive all day premarital seminar followed by an individual premarital counseling session with a therapist who specializes in marital issues.  We were not long into the seminar, when cartoons of the male and female brains were introduced.  The male brain was primarily occupied with thoughts of work, sports, fixing things, and electronic gadgets.  The female brain was one large lobe, the entirety of which was filled with thoughts of Christmas lights.  I was shocked.  I was speechless.  I felt so….understood!  Finally, I know why I can think of nothing but Christmas lights.  I can’t help it.  It’s biological**.

**I have recounted the story of these cartoons to friends who have accused me of making this up.  With God and about 25 couples as my witness, these cartoons were presented to us at a premarital counseling seminar at Wooddale church, February 2005.  The seminar was not what you would call P.C.

I would highly recommend premarital counseling to any engaged couple. I have gotten myself out of many a marital pickle by staring off into the distance muttering: CHRISTMAS LIGHTS.  I can’t count how many times we have found ourselves at odds, or I make a mistake, or I get somewhere and realize I’ve forgotten something important (such as a child) only to remember: my brain is full of CHRISTMAS LIGHTS!

This year, in honor of my late grandmother, Susie, I wanted a star on the front of our house.  I inherited Susie’s star and looked forward to hanging it from our roof, only to discover it has shrunken considerably since I was a child.  It’s about a 10 inch star.  It’s perfect for our little bike shed where it proudly shines.  But we live a stones throw from a major highway (a situation that I, as an extrovert, find so cozy), and I imagined cheering rush hour drivers from Riverside Ave. to the Huron exit with our brightly shining star.

Dan doesn’t do anything half-way. By the end of Saturday, our house was aglow with a five foot star.  It wasn’t easy.  We spent a considerable amount of the day at our home away from home, the Home Depot.  It’s my favorite Saturday destination due to their excellent hotdogs and very large carts for pushing hot-dog eating children.  In addition to knowing our order, the hot dog man knows I have a choking phobia and goes ahead and hands over his knife as soon as I walk in, so I can cut three hotdogs into noodles.

After a couple of trips back to the Depot, we finished around 7 p.m. We loaded up the van and drove up and down interstate 94 admiring our shining star.   See pictures below.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. Grammie permalink
    November 21, 2012 12:07 am

    Joy to you! Joy to the world! What a great star!

  2. Beth Saav permalink
    November 21, 2012 4:24 am

    So great! You bring a smile to my face with every post!

  3. November 21, 2012 3:08 pm

    You are fabulous.

  4. Tammia Alexander permalink
    November 21, 2012 7:58 pm

    Beautiful star. I thought I was the only one that had a choking phobia.

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