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Do not read this if you do not like bathroom humor.

August 11, 2011

It’s just that sometimes when it comes down to it in the bathroom with children, it’s laugh or cry.  I’d rather laugh. So here it is:

Last night we had, as they say at the pool, a fecal incident. Charlie headed off to the bathroom happily enough only exclaim in horror when he pulled down his little shorts, “It already came!”   As I cleaned up the fecal incident I was reminded of all the time I spent cleaning up after our incontinent poodle, Nellie Olson.  Nellie mostly sat very still (except when pooping) causing Carl to say that she was really more like a houseplant than a poodle. (Word of advice: the next time someone approaches you and says “Hey, free poodle!” remember: you get what you pay for.)

There’s something about a human fecal incident on the rug that is worse than a canine fecal incident on the rug.  Perhaps it’s my upbringing that anesthetized me to the horror of stepping in dog poop.  I’ve noticed that at social gatherings in Minneapolis, no one ever wrinkles their nose and announces, “Ya’ll check your shoes!” ( A common development in social gathering for me growing up.)  Not coincidentally, I also had never ever heard of anyone picking up their dog’s poop and carrying it home in a little bag until moving to Minneapolis.  Really the sight of large dog owners carrying big steaming bags of poo with them on their morning jog is enough to make you throw up. A pregnant Mary Brown did throw up in someone’s yard, I recall, picking up after her Italian Mastiff.  I don’t know which would be worse to leave in the yard of a stranger, a harmless pile of dog poop or human vomit!

There’s just something about the idea of stepping in human waste that is unthinkable.  But it does happen, and did to a friend of Ketite’s who experienced a gastric emergency by the side of the highway on a road trip with friends, only to have another friend step in the emergency and track it back into the van.  We laugh at this story, to the horror of Kettie’s mother who was very worried that laughing at such stories was going to sully our reputation in college.  If it didn’t, this blog post surely will.

Below: Charlie’s best friend Bray had a little fecal incident at the top of the playground slide today.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. Mary Olson permalink
    August 11, 2011 7:10 pm

    We sure so love your blog and eagerly read each one. I love to leave comments too—but this time I think you have said it all—. EXCEPT, what CAN be done about the great green gobs of goose doodoo —as far as I know there are no ordinances addressing this problem around our city’s green spaces, golf courses and lakes –surely the citizens of Mpls could benefit from one more responsibility 🙂

  2. melanie fisher permalink
    August 12, 2011 1:02 pm

    It’s nice to know there are other moms not afraid to talk about poop.

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