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Pants on the ground

May 23, 2011

Charlie, being slim through the hips, suffers from a little problem we call “pants on the ground”.  It comes on at the most inopportune moments.  It happens so frequently that sometimes he doesn’t even notice until he tries to walk.  One Sunday, his teacher told me that he stood in circle of children singing a song, oblivious to the fact that his pants were down around his ankles.

This morning the children and I went to Powderhorn Park to feed the ducks.  The children spent a little time feeding the ducks and a lot of time eating stale hotdog buns and old cereal.  Each time Charlie bent over to pick up a handful of cereal, his pants slipped a little.  A lot, really.  But they never did fall off.  The effect was not a little plumbers crack; it was more of a full moon.  The poor guy never even knew.

The full moon was not the low point of the morning attire however.  On our way to the car, Charlie asked if he could play in the empty wading pool which is not yet open for the season. The children never want to get in the wading pool when it is actually full of water, and this seemed like a good way to ease into the swimming season, so we all climbed over the fence and the children enjoyed a pretend swim.  Except there was a huge puddle in the pool from the storm last night which they were soon rolling around in.  This was a good time until I heard Elisabeth announce, “Soup’s ready!” and realized they were drinking from the puddle.  So off to the car we went.  Except that they were dripping wet.  So I stripped them down and much to their shock and delight buckled them into their car seats naked.  We have strict rules, now, about keeping clothes on, and all the way home they attempted to make sense of this unusual situation telling each other: “It’s okay to drive around nudy if it’s only your family in the car, right?”  I drove home very carefully, thinking about my mother’s warning to us when we were children (“what if you weren’t wearing clean underwear, and you were in a terrible car accident and taken to the hospital and someone saw that you weren’t wearing clean underwear???”) I’m sure she never even dreamed (in this terrible scenario) that everyone in the car (except me of course) might be fully nude.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. Beth S permalink
    May 24, 2011 1:42 pm

    Man, I know your address because I live there, too, girlfriend. Naked kids in the car is sometimes the only way to get it done. Besides, carseats take forever to dry out if they get wet. 🙂

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