The Old Can’t Do Attitude
I read recently (I’m no longer a reader…it was in Real Simple) that Lucille Ball said it is more important to know what you can’t do than to know what you can do. I have been thinking about this all day, and though I am still not sure why anyone would think this a jolly quote to put on the spine of the festive holiday edition of Real Simple, but it did motivate me to think of all the things I can’t do. Such as costumes.
Although the Hand in Hand Christmas Program announcement has hung proudly on our fridge for weeks, I only just this week spotted the line that read, “Students should come in an angel costume.” Or maybe I did read it and just blocked it out.
I don’t know what it is about costuming that is so daunting to me. I’d rather do almost anything else. Why, just this week a friend of a friend asked if her friend could stay with us for a couple of months to fulfill a sentence of house arrest. (Obviously, it is hard to do house arrest without a house.) My first thought: “Well, I don’t see why not!” Host house arrest: no problem. But tell me I have to make a costume: Whoa Nelly! You will find me lying in bed with a cool cloth on my head.
Which is why on Tuesday, when I heard Phil ask Mary if she minded spending the day at our house as he was needing the car, I (inwardly) began to cackle. Mary Olson: my prisoner for the day!
The feeling I get when I think about Mary Olson is very similar to the feeling I get thinking about Theresa Bulger.
Poor Mary Olson, hunched over the sewing machine in my sweatshop for the rest of the day. But not everyone can do this with an old, white sheet.